At the end of 2021, my blog just went through a major migration. Due to the upcoming discontinuation of CODING's static page hosting service, I had to migrate the entire blog to Tencent Cloud's Webify. It took some effort to initialize, and then transferring the CDN took a long time. After that, updating the SSL certificate also took some time. Overall, it was quite a process.
It has been over three years since I started writing my blog. I started by renting a server and setting up WordPress, then switched to renting a virtual host, and later moved back to China using static pages and an image hosting service. Finally, I ended up with the current solution of hosting my blog on Tencent Cloud, with images and some static resources stored in DogeCloud. From managing everything myself to now focusing on content without worrying about operations and maintenance, each approach has its pros and cons. Personally, I prefer the current method of local editing and continuous deployment to the cloud.
Now, let's get back to the topic of this article and take a look back at the year 2021.
The last time I looked back was two years ago, so when it comes to questions like "How did I spend 2020?", my mind only recalls a few scattered fragments from when I started dating someone. In a sense, it was both unfortunate and fortunate. I also left behind many random thoughts (I write when I'm feeling extremely depressed or deeply touched), and I can't help but marvel at how similar the problems I face and my own vulnerability are. It feels like I'm lost or losing myself, wanting to do something that can be considered an "achievement" to "prove" myself or to temporarily distract myself from many fearful thoughts.
But after a year, writing still helps me stay calm and temporarily relieve my current anxiety, allowing me to set aside other things and take a break. The process of writing is also a way to organize and "package" my thoughts. It seems that once I write them out, many floating thoughts in my mind disappear and no longer bother me, preventing me from wasting time in self-conscious struggles.
This year has been a year of "big changes" for me. I stepped out of my ivory tower and officially entered society as an employee. In the first half of the year, I worked hard for my graduation, and in the second half, I worked hard to improve myself while working. I gradually figured out many things in the new environment. Compared to many of my friends, I am fortunate to have relatively low work pressure and time for self-improvement. However, even though my job is stable, there is always a fear of being eliminated if I don't keep moving forward. Only by striving can I realize my self-worth.
After completing my thesis, I briefly set aside Python and started learning Vue to take on front-end development tasks in my department. There have been several training sessions within the team, and I also didn't want to give up on serverless, which I am interested in. I signed up for some technical salon-style activities, although I missed several of them due to my own reasons. Well, I hope this won't happen again from now on.
Secondly, I have been exposed to many new things and started trying to become a better version of myself. Just a week ago, I welcomed a new family member: a small sea cucumber. It is living comfortably at home. In the second half of the year, I started supporting myself with my salary, trying to save money to improve my situation and make my life better. At the same time, I started making changes to myself, hoping to enrich myself both externally and internally. As time goes by, I increasingly believe that my inner self will gradually influence the external. At least, my laziness has started to make me appear less energetic and not like someone who is striving for progress. I hope I can awaken myself again through a more positive and healthy lifestyle and exercise.
When I feel frustrated, I often think about how chaotic this year has been. Compared to before, I have regressed in some aspects this year. I have wasted too much time on random thoughts, and insufficient action cannot break the existing anxiety. Actually, my current job is not the source of my stress, but if I can't balance and adjust many aspects of my life, it will still end up being a mess.
If I don't reflect for a long time, the passing of each day seems to lose its meaning. It's like if I don't look back at my old diary, I can't remember what I was thinking at that time. Even though I'm gradually becoming "lazy in expression," I can't let myself be confused. Even though I have less and less time for myself, it's still better to seriously think about whether I have made progress each day than to get lost in games.
For myself in 2022, one word can summarize my biggest expectation: "dynamic reset." Resetting what I haven't done each day, resetting the placement of items each day, resetting each small goal, resetting the destination of each item... Rejecting procrastination to the greatest extent is also a good choice.
At the beginning of the year, I sighed that this year might be very fulfilling, but now that a month has passed, it seems that the plans have fallen through. Things that I planned to do every day have been put on hold due to the cold weather and my lack of perseverance. Actually, there are many things I want to do: travel, write love diaries, make videos, record songs, take photos, work on my own projects, draw... But in order to achieve my goals, I must make choices. Even if I want to develop myself in multiple areas, I still need to solve basic survival issues first. On one hand, I need to accumulate for my current job, and on the other hand, I need to improve myself to live a better life. I still believe that there will be brightness in life.
Things are not that bad now. The goals are small, but the challenge lies in persistence. By completing small goals one by one, quantitative changes will lead to qualitative changes.