It has been two months since I wrote any new articles. Like a drop of water entering the tide again, partly because the priority of what I have to do is higher, and what I want to do has been put on hold. In fact, I have made little progress, at least I haven't seen any tangible improvement.
Looking back on these two months, I seem to have not left a particularly deep impression on anything, but the relationship between "me" and the subjective perception of the surrounding seems to have undergone a subtle change, and my state of mind has become much more chaotic. The close ones, the ones a little further away, it seems that those in the middle are not distances, but rather "obstacles". Things that I used to be able to do now seem difficult to continue, and I want more time but a lot of leisure time has been wasted unknowingly.
Speaking of time, starting yesterday, I visited one by one the personal websites that I have bookmarked. In the "Afternoon Tea Light Music Club" there is a paragraph that goes like this:
Chunking means allocating time into regular units, using time with plans and purposes, for example, reading for an hour, watching anime for the next hour, writing for the following hour, focusing on one thing during a specific time period.
Instead of being like irregular molecules, acting on impulse, flipping through a couple of pages of a book and then starting to browse Zhihu, chasing anime, listening to music, playing "Honkai Impact" in your hands, and when you try to recall what you have gained at the end of the day before going to bed, you can't remember anything, you can't recall anything, and you don't even know how time has passed today.
——The Shape of Time - Afternoon Tea Light Music Club
It seems that in the past days, I have lived my life in the form of irregular molecules. Even if I know what I need to do overall, the time given to life ultimately becomes fragmented, with collisions of thoughts and concepts in the flow of information. Some things have stayed but haven't settled down yet, and most of them have drifted away without leaving anything behind. Upon careful consideration, there doesn't seem to be much that I have persisted in. Perhaps it would be better if it becomes a habit. Now, even a schedule has emerged in my mind.
On the other hand, as a "content provider," it seems that "vertical" is the consensus in the industry. But as a "person," I would prefer to diverge a bit and have a "horizontal" approach in various areas that interest me. However, I am also quite empty-handed. Unlike other professionals who provide their own services, I seem to have not "utilized" my own accumulation. Although I am nurturing an app suitable for a small circle, until now, there is no sign of demand analysis and design. I guess I will consider those things only after I finish what I have on my plate.
What does the future me want to achieve and do tomorrow?